Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind, "Pooh! " he whispered.
"Nothing," said Piglet, taking Pooh's paw. "I just wanted to be sure of you."
I was reminded recently of what a pain in the ass change can be.
I am sitting in my car flipping through the stations when I come across a talk show host's bombastic speech about the foundation of our economy crumbling due to a political party that is riddled with mismanagement and scandal and I started spewing terse, venom-dripping words back at the host, while my heart rate increased and my left-brain, judgment-inspired head began to swim with anger.
I completely forgot!
I don't do that anymore! How embarrassing!
So I take a quick look around at the other cars to make sure no one saw me shaking my fist and yelling at the radio. Thank the universe for tinted windows. Get composure and start faking internal peace.
I practice non-judgment, wu-wei, connectedness!! The host's thoughts may not represent mine, but we live the unity of life! Peace be with you!
Until the next time I slip and bawl you out in the privacy of my car.
But seriously, I AM working on NOT increasing my heart rate because of the thoughts I create in my head about current events (or other things)...so what is this?
Am I a fake?
Or am I just practicing?
Does it matter? I s'pose to me it does. Like Piglet likes to be sure of Pooh, I'd like to be sure of me. And so, as the 12 steppers go, so do I: Fake it till you make it. I just change the talk show host preset button off my radio dial until I'm grown-up enough to handle it.
And the beauty of it, I think, is that it doesn't matter if I "make it" or not. It's all just practice.
I'm not sure how to word this. But it comes into my head each and every time I begin giving birth to a new post. Well...here it is:
What's the point?
As in, 'What is the point of writing when really, none of it matters?' In the scheme of things, what does it matter if I enjoy tai chi?
"Oh honey, look! Lucy's found a little hobby that makes her happy. It's called tai chi and it's on the computer! Isn't that nice?"
I sit back sometimes after reflecting and writing and I often find myself thinking: "Blah, blah, blah, whatever. We've all read it before, felt it before, performed it before. Shut up already."
Is that familiar to anyone else?