Part B: Tao Te Ching V. 2

I posted about this verse earlier in the month, but I had to split it up because there's such depth to its simplicity. For those who haven't read it, I've pasted a copy of the entire verse at the end of this post.

Lao Tzu spends a great amount of time writing about the worthlessness of spending time judging and evaluating: whether it's about a situation, a person, an act, a behavior. What he simply states is that seeing things as they are, without having to qualify, evaluate, or label leads to a much happier, less stressful way of living. Living in the flow of life, rather than fighting against it.

Put yourself into a situation where you might judge someone. In fact, I'll offer up a scenario that I've seen play out. Let's say you just moved into a new home. It's spring. Everything is green and lush. And as the summer approaches you notice little flags decorating your neighbors' yards warning people that their lawns have been doused with chemicals. "Idiots!" you cry as you watch your cat walk across the neighbor's lawn looking for small rodents to chew. "These idiots care more about their curb appeal than they do the environment they're poisoning!!" You run after your cat, ready to give your neighbor an earful of organic gardening advice.

Or, if that doesn't fit, try this one: let's say you just moved into a new fixer-upper home. It's spring. Everything is green and lush. As the summer approaches you notice little yellow dandelion heads emerging from your neighbors' yards. Your yard is the only one that is tightly manicured. "Idiots!" you cry as you watch your cat walk across their weed-ridden lawn looking for small rodents to chew. "These idiots don't give a damned about their homes! Look at this street! No matter what I do to this house, there's no way it'll sell well with these surroundings!" You charge outside ready to give you neighbor an earful about lawn maintenance.

"When people see some things as beautiful,
other things become ugly.
When people see some things as good,
other things become bad."

Now, what Lao Tzu offers as an alternative to hating your chemical- or organic-happy neighbors is this: we will all be faced with life situations that challenge us to either judge or observe. So when he writes the following:

Being and non-being create each other.
Difficult and easy support each other.
Long and short define each other.
High and low depend on each other.
Before and after follow each other.

what he is saying is both sides of every story, of every event, of every life situation will always be there. Whether difficult or easy, long or short, high, low, before, after. These will always be. Do you want to wrap yourself up in the emotion of these situations? Do you want to increase your anger, irritation, frustration? Or would you rather observe the situation, connect with those involved, agree to disagree and move on without the drama?

'Well, sure, Lao. I'd rather observe to save my blood pressure. But you don't understand, cause your old. And dead. Here's the deal: People who spray their lawns are idiots! I need to let them know this. I must educate them.'

He's got an answer to that as well:

Therefore the Master
acts without doing anything
and teaches without saying anything.
Things arise and she lets them come
things disappear and she lets them go.
She has but doesn't possess,
acts but doesn't expect.
When her work is done, she forgets it.
That is why it lasts forever.

You act without doing anything: you just live. Work on your organic lawn. Who knows, maybe you'll inspire a neighbor to do the same. But Lao Tzu doesn't even care about that egoic thought. He's just sayin': live, without expectation, without judgment, without evaluating every step. Just live. Go, without ego, GO.

I don't know about you, but to me, THAT's the way I want to live. Simple.

But not easy.

Oh, man, it takes work to be an observer. A couple of nights ago at a movie theater I watched a couple bring their young children into a violent "R" rated movie. I had a really hard time "observing" that one. I have a hard time"observing" anything I read or watch that is political. I have a hard time "observing" the bagger lady who beats up my groceries.

But those times when I can? Like when someone cuts me off on the highway? Or when my purse or phone is stolen? Or when I am dismissed in a business meeting because I'm female (yes, it still happens). But for some reason, those things don't trigger my judge. Although I may not agree with the situation, I can understand it. I understand people who may be in a panicked rush on the highway. I understand people who are desperate enough to steal. I can understand prejudice. It just is and I understand it.

The practice of observing doesn't mean that you agree or disagree. That's making a judgment. The practice of observing is allowing it to be: no rising blood pressure, no frustration, no excitement. Not attached to the outcome.

I always get the image of a screen filter. When I'm observing, the mesh of the filter is very forgiving and open. It allows things to flow. My emotions are even and welcoming. I feel warm and inviting.

When I'm critical and full of evaluations, the filter is speck fine. Everything gets trapped. I feel irritated. I don't let anyone get away with anything. I feel critical, calculating, frustrated, angry.

During those times, I really need tai chi.

For me, Tai Chi puts into a physical form the ability to observe. Moving through the postures, I empty my mind of everything (...or try) and bring my intention and attention to the present moment, feeling my way through each movement. I observe the texture of the movements, the inhale, the exhale. I feel them without judging, without criticizing myself for not doing it "perfectly." It's minutes out of a day where I practice holding the space of "being." And working toward taking that space with me for the rest of the day.

Peace.

Verse 2

When people see some things as beautiful,
other things become ugly.
When people see some things as good,
other things become bad.

Being and non-being create each other.
Difficult and easy support each other.
Long and short define each other.
High and low depend on each other.
Before and after follow each other.

Therefore the Master
acts without doing anything
and teaches without saying anything.
Things arise and she lets them come'
things disappear and she lets them go.

She has but doesn't possess,
acts but doesn't expect.
When her work is done, she forgets it.
That is why it lasts forever.

Left, Right, Center

Be still as a mountain,
move like a great river.
-Wu Yu-hsiang

If you're just starting out with meditation, staying present - or just practicing focusing on one thought - it can be difficult. What can end up happening is that a little "To Do" list will pop into your head, making sure to challenge your quiet moment.

"What am I doing?? I have to reply to that email from my boss! I can't forget to do that! Oh, Lord, if I don't do it now, I'll probably forget! I've been forgetting everything. Uhhhggg, I just remembered when I forgot my mother's birthday last year. That was fun. I felt sick. I had to pay $40 extra dollars to FedEx it there quickly to save face. Boy did she harass me for that. Speaking of payments, when did I last pay bills...I haven't paid bills this month! I can't be late for that too! Extra fees will kill me! I've got to look into that. And look at me! I'm just sitting here! Doing nothing!"

So, staying in your comfort zone, you jump up and head for the computer to pay online bills, return emails, and write a loving letter to your mother.

What is going on here? What is this voice that spits out so much worrisome information while we are trying to slow down and be still?

Inside of our lovely skull, cupped in it's strength, is our brain. A necessary organ that is still largely curious to researchers. It is divided into two hemispheres: left and right. The left is very analytical, allows us to critique, judge, analyze. The right behaves as a complete observer, not caring whether something is good or bad, right or wrong, it just observes and lets things unfold with curiosity and wonder. See the balance there? Both are necessary. You want to be able to judge a situation as safe or dangerous, using the left brain. You want to observe, and not judge, the smirk your mother makes when she opens your $20 gift in the $40 FedEx packaging, using the right brain. (Why, you ask? Because getting caught up in the emotion of your mother judging your gift, and the expense of how it got there, is a huge waste of your time. Get right-brained whenever you find yourself in this kind of situation. Step away from the drama!)

The left hemisphere is the one we Westerners are still having one remarkable love affair with. (Sorry about the hanging preposition - my detailed oriented, perfectionist left-brain won't let me move on without pointing that out.) The left brain is highly analytical, allowing us to problem solve, create sentence after sentence to communicate coherent paragraphs, to analyze, criticize, judge, make predictions, create and follow schedules. It is deeply needed in our Western environment.

When one overuses the left hemisphere is when the trouble starts. The left hemisphere - just as it did in our example above - takes any quiet moment and makes them loud in our heads. It guides us to think about and remember things that have happened in the past and propels us into the future to worry and fret over things that have yet to come. And the saddest thing about this is what we miss: the precious moment occurring right now.

And it's the right brain that allows us to be present. Present is all it knows. Right now, this moment.

But it takes practice.

The beginnings of meditation are difficult. The left brain acts like a spoiled brat. It has received constant attention from you for years and years, and now you want to focus your beam of light to the right hemisphere? Not without a fight. Those messages you get when you try to maintain quiet are the left hemisphere having a little hissy fit. It's fighting for your attention. The right brain, in it's laid back, non-judgmental never vies for your attention.

"Ah, well, it is what it is," the right hemisphere says as you jump up from a lotus position, or drop your arms from Standing Post, and give in to the 'to-do' list that the left hemisphere provided. The left hemisphere is happy because it has you back, the right hemisphere is happy, because it doesn't judge, and you are back in your comfort zone and feeling fine...

Except for the occasional acid reflux. Oh, and the fluctuating blood pressure. Well, then, there's the lower back pain. Okay, and to be honest, the daily anger, bad moods, feelings of depression, impatience with close friends and family, and the constant criticism of others when really all you want is peace.

And you realize, clearly, that practicing being in the right brain might just be a good thing.

Next post: Entering into the right brain, watching body functions shift in 'observer' mode.

Observer Mode

Observing is one of the hardest things for me to do during an election year.

If anything gets me into my analytical, judgmental, critical, left-hemisphere mind, it's politics. I've decided I'm really not mature enough to watch debates.

Or newscasts.

Or commercials.

Or even yard signs, really.

During a previous election in my lifetime, candidates couldn't even get through a sentence without me shaking my fist at the television set and yelling about how just how wrong, wrong! WRONG!! they were. Of course, the only thing listening to me back then was my cat. And he just ran out of the room.

So, I have gotten better. Cause, isn't the first step to admit you have a problem?

So anyway, here's the taiji twist to all of this. When I started practicing taiji, I enjoyed the movements, was able to relax my body, felt good and energized afterward. But something was missing.

My mind (yi) really was still focusing on where my foot was being placed, what the application of the movement was, whether my posture was correct. I was working on becoming relaxed, but not collapsed - sung is the Chinese term for relaxed in the body and mind, with structure to the body. These are all fine focus points when learning the form and practicing. But, again, I got to a point where I really felt something was missing.

In fact, at the time, I thought to myself, is this it? Is this all I'm going to get out of taiji? I mean, it's nice and all, but so is knitting. (And really it is, especially with all those new funky yarns! Have you seen them? Well, that's another post...)

So I was doing some reading on the brain, and I realized that we have two lovely hemispheres that sit inside our heads. The left hemisphere, simplifying things, is our analytical hemisphere that gives structure to our lives. It helps us remember deadlines, appointments, that we shouldn't drink turpentine - you know, important stuff.

But we in the Western world have a love affair with the left hemisphere. We, in general, admire people who are researchers, engineers, doctors, lawyers, people who are seemingly - using our analytical left hemisphere - better than others. We idolize gifted people - even at an early age. We separate the gifted from the mainstream in classrooms. And we really don't have patience for those who are not "thinkers."

The right hemisphere, on the other hand, allows us to become observers of everything - without analyzing, without judging or criticizing, without saying something is better, worse, more, less, right, wrong. The right hemisphere allows us to observe that everything...just is. And that doesn't get you a high paying job in this country.

But after reading this it really hit me. My taiji practice was missing...me! I was so busy analyzing what I was doing correctly and incorrectly that I hadn't allowed myself to enter into my right hemisphere and just observe. Just feel, without analyzing!

For months and months, I practiced without thinking. When a thought would come in, I would acknowledge it and let it go. It was difficult to stop criticising my form - I was so used to analyzing everything! Just being in the form took practice. Lots of practice.

But I found that once I released critical thinking, and gave my right hemisphere equal time, my body really began to respond. Not only in a martial sense - I was much more relaxed and grounded, my stances were stronger, my ability to respond to an opponent was faster (because I didn't take time to think about it) and more accurate - but I tested my blood pressure, which lowered. I tested my pulse, which, over time, went from (at rest) 72 bpm to 53 bpm. My breathing was much slower and deeper.

I also know that when even one bodily process, like breathing, stabilizes, it allows other processes to shift as well. Digestion, cardiovascular, lymphatic, endocrine. This is the reason Taiji is not just a martial art. The whole body responds when we make these shifts.

But the most wonderful thing happened that I didn't expect. This whole right-brain thing filtered into the rest of my life. My need to point out wrongs, innacuracies, hypocracies - whether it was a politician's, my own, a family member's, or friends - became much less important. What grew in it's place was an observation: I can let things...be.

And when that happens, I feel much more at ease. And so do others around me.

So, no, I haven't gotten to the point where I can watch endless commercials about candidates. I still have a hard time watching debates.

Instead, I just get into that observer mode and play taiji.

And my cat lays on the floor and watches.


Tao Te Ching
Translated by Stephen Mitchell

2
When people see some things as beautiful,
other things become ugly.
When people see some things as good,
other things become bad.

Being and non-being create each other.
Difficult and easy support each other.
Long and short define each other.
High and low depend on each other.
Before and after follow each other.

Therefore, {one} acts
without doing anything
and teaches without saying anything.
Things arise and she lets them come;
things disappear and she lets them go.
She has but doesn't possess,
acts but doesn't expect.
When her work is done, she forgets it.
That is why it lasts forever.